Judging Others by Appearances

I was in Chicago for work the other week and went to a trendy artisan soup restaurant for lunch with a colleague.  When we had finished lunch and were exiting the building, I saw a homeless man sitting on the sidewalk with his back against the wall.  He had a large blanket covering his legs and lap.  As I looked a little bit closer I thought I could see a pair of eyes peeking out from beneath the blanket!  I crouched down to get on eye level with the man to get a closer look and asked his name (Troy).  Troy is an African-American man in his late twenties.  I introduced myself and asked him if he had a child under the blanket which he confirmed.  He pulled it back a bit and I could see his beautiful two year-old daughter, Faith, looking innocently back at me. Troy told me he and Faith currently are staying at the Pacific Garden Mission. They provide a meal in the morning and dinner at night but they are on their own for lunch.  I asked if I could help him get lunch and he said someone was already helping him with that. I then asked him where Faith’s mama was.  He shared that she had been shot and killed when Faith was only two months old. Wow!  I told him how much I admired and respected him for taking care of his daughter the best way he knew how.  I asked him was he working and he said he wants to but he has a felony conviction for attempted murder when he was seventeen (tried as an adult) so employment options are very few.  Before I left him I asked him for his prayer request.  His simple answer was “a job.”  As I got up to leave I gave him some money and asked for God’s blessing on him.

1 Samuel 16:7b - “...The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

Things to think about:

• To be totally honest, I have an attitude about men who father children and then are rarely involved in their lives. I think it is weak and cowardly and it makes me angry with them.  
• More often than not, out of wedlock births result in children being raised in single parent homes, usually by the mother
• so with all of my preconceived notions and biases about this topic, I learned (again) a very important lesson - we don’t know someone’s story until we take the time to learn it.
• So, am I the only one who has prejudices about the decisions people make?
• who do you “have an attitude” about?
• But God doesn’t look at the things we look at:
• wealth, car, education, house, job title, clothes, appearance, role at the local church, giving
• Rather, He looks at the heart
• on its own, our hearts don’t have much to recommend us either since we are wired for sin
• but through faith (not works), we find favor with Him
• He knows if our desire is to walk with Him and please Him even though we don’t meet the holy standard (love the Thomas Merton quote the other week!)
• Even if we can fool others (and to a great extent ourselves), God sees us very clearly
• As you go from our meeting today, ask the Lord to give you eyes to see others as He sees them, the willingness to stop for a minute and learn another’s story, and to offer a cup of cool grace instead of the burning rod of judgement
• My prayer request today is for Troy and Faith - that God would lift them up from the streets and bring healing and wholeness to their lives.  That Troy could get a good job doing meaningful work he likes and is proud to do.  That Faith could have a life rich in love and hope that can only be found in relationship with Jesus.

Forgiveness

This last week I spoke with a friend (we’ll call him Scott) who was sharing some fairly routine news when he casually blurted out, “Oh yeah, and I forgave my mom.”  I was like, “you did what???”  My reaction was so strong because Scott’s mom was a very verbally and emotionally abusive woman.  She hated Scott’s father for his infidelities and transferred her hatred for men to the nearest one available, in this case her son Scott. She told him to quit college so he could use the money he had saved/was earning for school to give to his younger sister. She had even encouraged him to commit suicide (but just not at their apartment so as not to embarrass her). The net result of this abuse was Scott leaving home and becoming homeless for the next 10 years.  God intervened a couple of years ago and brought Scott to a place of healing and restoration.  The one outstanding issue still left undealt with was Scott’s unforgiving attitude towards his mother.  He had held on to this belief in “justice" for so long it had become part of him.  Recently he had been under conviction for this but it really came to a head during an Easter service when a lady was sharing her testimony and observed that God will withhold His blessing when we are in disobedience to His will. While Scott’s feelings for his mom had lost some of there intensity, going from hatred to apathy, he still had not properly forgiven her in light of what God has forgiven him for.  As he told me, “It was like having something old and broken in your attic and never taking the time to just get rid of it.”  This Easter was his Spring cleaning day!  Scott wrote his mom a letter saying he forgave her for all of the hurts she had inflicted on him.  While he has not yet actually sent it to her, he did make the courageous step to have a friend witness his signing of it so as to memorialize he had officially forgiven her. He now feels a great sense of relief but maybe more importantly he has the knowledge that he is not willfully standing in the way of God’s blessing on his life.

Hebrews 12: 14-15

14 Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. 15 See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. 

Things to think about:

• when Scott told me his story, it was like he told me he just went to the moon!  Knowing the years of abuse this woman heaped on him, the fact that he could now forgive her is nothing short of a miracle.  It is not in our nature to easily let go of wrongs.  Why? Because they’re wrong!  And when someone has wronged us, we want justice.
• do you have a story of needing to forgive someone?
• or maybe, have you been the person in need of forgiveness?
• God wants justice too.  How does He reconcile seeing justice served yet offer us forgiveness?
• Ephesians 4:32 - We should forgive each other “just as in Christ God forgave us” 
• Sometimes though, the shoe is on the other foot though when we have fallen short.  We ask ourselves, “Why can’t he just let it go?  It’s been 10 years and he just won’t move on from it!”
• Our verse starts off with “Make every effort to live in peace with everyone"
• As Tom L would say "every means every and everyone means everyone"!
• Maybe without the same authority as Tom :-) the apostle Paul says in Romans 12:18  "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."
• "Without holiness no one will see the Lord"
• Scott told me that he really felt God had been hard to see in many of his circumstances and that he felt somewhat distant from Him
• Why do we feel this disconnect from God when there is unholiness in our lives?
• "See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God"
• we have looked at this acronym before GRACE - God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense
• no one starts with who?
• how do we encourage one another to not fall short of the grace of God?
• What does a bitter root cause?
• Hebrews 12:15 - See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. 
• When we are bitter we cause trouble and defile many
• Defile means to violate, mar, spoil.  Are we at times contradicting our witness by holding on to real (or perceived) grievances and thus defiling many?
• So with all of this before us, do you believe the old saying “I’ll forgive but I won’t forget” is biblical?
• Can one can be an obedient child of God and hold on to a grudge or other root of bitterness?
• if you or someone you love is laboring under the burden of unforgiveness, what one step can you (they) take TODAY to move forward?

A Performance Review by Jesus

Have you recently had a performance review at work?  Did it incorporate a 360° feedback loop?  Was it a big surprise or did it go as expected?  They can be kind of intimidating if you don’t trust who is giving it to you or if you feel like you are being treated unfairly.  On the other side of the equation, are you in a role where you give performance reviews? Do you try to be specific and blend positive with constructive feedback?  For our study in the morning, let’s look at the job review Jesus gave the church at Ephesus in Revelation 2:2-7

2 I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate wicked people, that you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not, and have found them false. 3 You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary.

4 Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first.5 Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lamp stand from its place.6 But you have this in your favor: You hate the practices of the Nicolaitans,which I also hate.

7 Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To the one who is victorious, I will give the right to eat from the tree of life, which is in the paradise of God.

Things to think about:

• Jesus starts with the positive.  We’ve probably all been taught that whether giving feedback to our kids or co-workers, we should start off with the positive. It sets a good tone and rightly prioritizes what’s going well.
• in this case, Jesus focuses on their deeds, hard work, and perseverance.  We know that faith without works is dead (James 2:20).  
• recently we looked at John 14:15 - if you love Me, keep my commands
• clearly, it is important that we are walking the walk and doing the work the Master has assigned to us
• Secondly, Jesus commends them for their strong working knowledge of the truth and their uncompromising attitude towards it.
• no tolerance for wicked people is a good place to be.  As society keeps redefining right and wrong, knowing and walking in absolute truth is vital for winning the fight.
• 2 Corinthians 2:11 says that we should not be outwitted by Satan and his schemes, for we are not ignorant his designs
• Thirdly, He puts more context around their perseverance and patience, even while enduring hardships
• all in all, sounds like they were doing a lot of the right things
• but therein lies the rub - lots of doing. Too much of a focus on doing leads to legalism.  When we become legalistic we trade the Lord for the Law
• Remember Jesus’ admonition to Martha in Luke 10 - 41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
• His criticism of the church was that they had lost their first love
• Who or what was their first love?
• Do you remember when you first fell in love with your wife?  Your priorities changed so that making her happy was your first and most important responsibility.
• but over time, we become comfortable with those closest to us and can tend to stop being as attentive as we once were
• Jesus goes on to say that the should consider how far they had fallen
• fallen from what or where?
• when one first comes to the Lord in the light of acknowledging their sin, and in gratitude for the amazing grace that is extended to us, we can be on Cloud 9 for good reason
• but of course, life and distractions press in on us and we can lose sight of the incredible gift that has been bestowed upon us.  More importantly, we can forget or simply take for granted the bestower of the gift
• Why is this a big deal to Jesus?
• Graciously He offers a path back to intimate fellowship with Himself
• Repent and do the things you did at first
• but Jesus is not weak or lacking in authority.  If you do not repent, He warns them, I will remove your lamp stand from its place
• the lamp stand is the church.  Good trees bear fruit and are pruned.  Bad trees are cut down and thrown in the fire.
• But Jesus turns back on to the positive tack and leaves them with a compliment and a promise
• compliment- they hate the practices of the Nicolaitans - they were various sorts of truth-twisters who led people astray
• promise - to the one who is victorious, I will give the right to eat from the tree of life which is in the paradise of God
• why should eating from the tree of life be tremendous motivation for them and us?